Society seems to be out to get us men. The powers that be set up this world to distract us and make us as useless as possible so we can be milked for all you’re worth. Video games are just one example of this. You should give up video games because they offer very few benefits in the long run. Sure, if you are going to be the League of Legends champion (they get all the women) ignore this post. If you are inspired to do something with your life, then keep reading. I will lay out why you should give up video games.

Video Games Waste Time

When you are young you think you have all the time in the world. This is why you feel you can spend hours playing a fantasy game that takes you nowhere. Looking back, that time can be better spent doing 1000 different things. Imagine if you play 5 hours of video games every other night. Roughly, 15 hours a week. This is conservative compared to what I have seen some people play. In a year that is 780 hours of video games. That works out to about 33 days of your life gone every year. With nothing to show for it. This is why you need to give up or at least cut down on video games.

What else can you be doing with this time? If you found a way to make $20/hour in that time that is 15K a year. Even if you use the time to learn a new skill or read a book you will be lightyears ahead of other people your age. If you are 22 years old (although I know grown men addicted to video games), think of your life in ten years. Imagine having an extra 100K plus in the bank because you didn’t want to waste your time shooting a stranger in a fake world.

I know what you might say, there are other habits just as bad, or worse (TV for example). No doubt. You should limit or eliminate TV also. Video games have other negatives that make them even worse than other time sucking activities.

Video Games Give You a False Sense of Accomplishment

People feel (momentarily) great when they beat that next level or win that next game. I remember when I was a kid playing Legend of Zelda. Beating a boss made me so happy, for a little bit. Once I beat the game there is almost a sense of emptiness and a feeling of “for what”? What did I accomplish. It is not like I am putting Zelda Champion on my resume. I gained no real skills, yet I feel like I did something.

Today’s games are even worse. They are designed to make you keep playing indefinitely. There is always another level, another game. If you catch up too quickly an upgrade will make you have something else to aspire to. It never ends. Well until the sequel comes out or the next big thing. Then you are back to square one. I do not care how good you are at Minecraft; you are a legend in your own mind. History books aren’t filled with stories about Video game champions. Remember most games are designed to allow you to advance. When you do you are not special, you are part of the marketing campaign.

Video Games are Addictive

Video games are addicting in ways that other time-wasting activities are not. Yes, people spend hours watching TV, but I never was so lost in thought as when I played video games. It is amazing how a generation of kids with ADHD can spend 5 hours totally engrossed in a video game. Do not get it twisted you should give up video games because they are addictive. Hit the link to read the article that explains more.

Maybe it isn’t a physical addiction like OxyContin, but it can have the same outcome. I have seen relationships ruined and people lose their jobs because all they did was play Video Games. This one dude I know was making $40K max a year. He was going through a divorce (one of those rare men who I blame). Yet this guy had the nerve to brag about having $15K worth of crap for his imaginary game. Worst of all, I have never even heard of this game. He played a game that was irrelevant, and in turn made himself irrelevant. All to feed his addiction.

You Aren’t Facing Reality

Video games are a form of escapism. When you aren’t facing reality in your life, you are doomed to failure. People engrossed in video games will brag about how good they are in Maddon but can’t run a half of a mile. They believe they are athletes or soldiers, when in reality they are losers. Getting rich in a video game means nothing, if you are working a dead-end job.

People’s lives suck so bad that they disappear into a fantasy world while slipping further behind in their own reality. I get it, success is hard. Life wasn’t made to be beaten, at least easily. You can do everything right and still lose. There is no reset button, no saving your progress and it sure isn’t as fun as a headshot. Still if you want a fulfilling life, you must face reality. You must keep going, no cheat codes, not one online tip on how to get to the next level. Just the grind.

So, put down the controller and fix your relationships. Get in the gym, fuck get some sleep. The extra time you gain from not playing video games and facing your problems is priceless. You cannot get that back.

Conclusion: Why You Should Give up Video Games

I am not saying never pick up a controller again, there is a time and a place to relax. What I am saying is if you do not have your shit together you need to give up video games. Like anything bad for us, junk food, TV, beer, or meth a little probably won’t kill you (well maybe with meth it will), but it will ruin your life in excess. The worst part is you won’t even know it is happening.

One day you will turn around and see you went nowhere for the last decade. The game you were so great at has 5 new versions or isn’t even played anymore. You gained nothing but 30lbs because you wanted to escape reality and not face your life.

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I will label “society” as the institutions that govern, and shape are values and beliefs. Can we really deny that weak men are being propped up in Hollywood? How about laziness and dependency being supported in the news? 15-years ago the words toxic masculinity didn’t exist (not together anyway), yet today you can’t read an article about men without this phrase being used.

Governments, the media, and corporations celebrate women, while men are disposable and toxic. Yes, we have always been disposable, but at least there wasn’t a drive to cut off our nuts. The results are, of course terrible for men, between less men in the work force to higher suicide rates, but that doesn’t seem to worry the powers that be.

So why does society want weak men? The motivation is the same as always: Money and Power. Throughout history those at the top want to control those at the bottom, no matter the cost to the latter. Historically who is the strongest among us? Men. Weaken them and control is easier. I will dive in further as to why society wants weak men.

Why Society Wants Weak Men: They are Easier to Milk

Those in charge treat people like they are cattle. Convincing us that chugging along in some corporate job, living paycheck to paycheck while spending all your money on useless crap is the best path. Getting you stuck in a life where you produce and spend, enriching others. More than 70% of families live paycheck to paycheck, they are stuck supporting the system.

Not having your financial life in order puts one in a position of weakness. Now you are dependent on your company, the government, or any one of the power-hungry organizations that want to live off you. Does your company want to cut your salary? Sure. Want you to take a DE&I course? You better. Your thoughts and opinions can no longer be your own, because your very financial existence depends on them.

Compare that with a minimalist, who has a years’ worth of salary saved up and a nice side hustle. Or even better a man who owns his own business. He can say “don’t like what I say, do, or think? F*ck off I don’t need you”. Nothing enrages a company more than when they cannot milk their employees. Weak men are easier to milk for every ounce of labor and time.

Why Society Wants Weak Men: They are Easier to Control

The pandemic taught me a lot about the lengths those in the ruling class will go to control people. Example after example of “do as I say, not as I do” by politicians and heads of media. Whether it was the arsehole mayor of Chicago who got her hair done, while ticketing those who didn’t comply or the parties from the California governor. See the rules are for the masses, not the elite!

I wasn’t particularly surprised about this, what was more surprising was how many men went along with the lockdowns. Weak men allow themselves to be controlled. Whether it is physically weak or mentally (or both) they let themselves be played the fool.

Arseholes at Davos will tell you not to drive your car while they fly their jets 50 miles. They will try to tell you what to eat or to support whatever social movement they are a part of, which makes them look good in front of their friends. As always, they want you to follow the rules, while they don’t… weak men are quick to comply.

Weak Men don’t ask Questions

Curious if Covid was started in a lab? Shut up, don’t ask. Wondering how a man can become a woman suddenly after thousands of years otherwise? Keep quiet. Weak men don’t ask questions, instead they go along with any propaganda being fed. The story can change and a weak man will just buy into the narrative. I think of the book (and movie) 1984 when one of the characters is told he was an enemy agent. He believed it saying he didn’t know it himself. He was weak and believe the lie he was fed without question.

We aren’t too far from that world. The media has changed its stories so many times on a variety of subjects, pointing your outrage where they want it, while ignoring other problems. Once again, it comes down to control. You never question the narrative; you allow them to tell you what is good for you. This allows them to stay rich and stay on top.

A Weak Man is a Dependent Man

If you do not take care of your health the pharmaceutical companies will certainly be there to give you pills for the rest of your life. Broke, keep working that dead end job your corporate overlords will take care of you. Just don’t think for yourself or they will take it all away. The arseholes at Davos realize the weaker you are the more you will depend on others to get by.

If you allow yourself to be in a position of weakness, then you will always need them. The elite hate strong, independent people. Why does the government care more about criminals than they do about business owners? Small businessmen and women are not dependent on their government overlords. The weak do not realize that these “leaders” are not trying to help them, they want their dependency.

Pharmaceutical companies rarely cure a disease. Doctors are little more than the street level drug dealers. Governments love that 70% of people live paycheck to paycheck. Every institution exists to control people and make them dependent. Strong people are their enemy.

Bottom Line They Want What You Have Earned (and more)

I am a capitalist at heart, I applaud the billionaire that earned his money, and he should reap the rewards for his hard work. My problem comes when they start telling me what to do with what I earned. They know that the weak won’t question oppressive taxes or unfair regulation. They will go along with the removal of meat from our diets (replaced with a chemical alternative).

Think I am crazy? They made a commercial that said, “in the future you will own nothing and be happy.” Of course, they tried to backtrack. F*ck off. In a world where we actually had a press, this would be splashed on the front page of every paper. Instead, those who showed the commercial were labeled as kooks. If you don’t own anything who does? If your home isn’t yours then whose is it? And what happens to your home if you question the narrative? They know the weaker you are the more likely you will follow their plan. They aren’t happy with what they have earned, they want your property and obedience as well.

Conclusion: Why Society Wants Weak Men

Maybe this sounds a little like a conspiracy theory, but they are telling us what they are doing. It is in the various institutions best interest to keep you scared, fat, broke, and weak. They want you dependent, while they split up the world. You me and all other “little people” mean nothing to them. I will get to how they keep you weak and how to prevent this in future posts, for now open your eyes to what is happening.

The post Why Society Wants Weak Men appeared first on A Reinvented Man.

I will get into all the problems I have with this company. Both men and women have complained to me about using this site, but men certainly have a harder time (as with most sites). Yet, it goes beyond the normal issues men have with online dating. They have those problems also, and they too will be mentioned later in this review of Match.com for men.

The cost for Match.com runs anywhere from $20/month to $12/month (if you sign up for a longer stint). The fact that you need that long is a bad sign. Most dating sites have a free version but using that feature on Match.com is utterly useless. Below is my full review of Match.com for Men, and why I believe guys shouldn’t waste their time with this dating site.

Reason 1 why Men shouldn’t use Match.com: Nonsubscribers

This problem is what inspired this post. A couple of weeks ago I was scrolling through my (limited) options on this site. After sorting out single mothers (read why here) and “well fed” women, I get like 500 ladies to choose from. At least 75% of those are people who are using the free version.

For those of you who do not know, with in the free version of Match.com you can’t reply to those who messaged you or even see who those that did. Yes, the subscriber (meaning men on the site) can pay even more money to allow those who don’t have an account to read, but screw that. If you can’t be bothered to pay $12/month, I am not doing it for you.

The result of this was a lot of wasted messaging to people who wouldn’t even see my correspondents. When doing a search, you are given a dishonest account of your options. A large percentage of women are nonsubscribers and can’t see your message, to me this is misleading. There is the impression that one has a lot more choices than there truly are. You might say, well I will pay the extra or perhaps they will join…that is if they are real, which brings me to my next point.

Fake Profiles

No review of Match.com for men would be complete without addressing the elephant in the room. I am not talking about the women who claim to be “curvy”. I am talking about utterly fake profiles. Most of these are nonsubscribers, but many of them are not. Fake profiles on Match.com are easy to spot. More often than not at the top of the feed will be a knock out gorgeous woman, with only one or two pictures.

The bio of this woman will be completely empty, or if you are lucky they choose “beach” to the question of which they prefer, beach or mountains. These profiles last maybe two or three days before magically disappearing. They are clearly fake, the one thing I don’t know is who is creating them?

Is this a scammer trying to take advantage of lonely men or something worse? This article has a different take, saying it is the company that is publishing these unauthentic posts. Consider this, people are paying for their services and they are blatantly defrauding their customers. Given that it is in the best interest of this company to keep you single, what other shady things are they doing?

Match Nickle’s and Dimes You

It is bad enough we are paying for an inferior service that is free on most other places, Match.com then hits you up for more money. I already mentioned the “allow anyone to read” feature. For the low price of $10/month you get all the benefits of what should be included in your normal subscription. Meaning you are confident that women you are reaching out to can correspond back with you. I guess bad on me for thinking that is what I was initially paying for!!

There is also the “Boost” function. For $5 you get your profile front and center (for one hour!). Once again, how about putting me ahead of the free profiles as included in my membership. Also, why not rotate people instead of charging $5/hour to be front and center. It isn’t even the money at this point, it is the principle. I do not need to feel like I am being milked by my dating site. Then of course there are the Match events, where you meet people in an activity set up by the company. These can run up to $100.

Match Events

Given this is a review of Match.com for men, I am compelled to mention Match events. For yet another fee you can end up in an area where you actually meet the people in the flesh. In my life I have gone to four of these and they have gotten progressively worse. The first one I went to was in a bar, this was before my divorce, it was free and very crowded. There was a good mix of men and women, most importantly people were having fun.

Fast forward to a couple of months ago, I attend an event and it was just depressing. Maybe it is that I am now in my 40’s as opposed to my 30’s, but something was off. The bad news was the women were all unattractive. The good news is there weren’t a lot of them. The ratio was about 70-30 men to women. There was no connection, hell even the other guys were boring as hell. I think anyone, both men and women, have a better chance of getting laid in a funeral home then this place (well that might be your thing).

You can’t see who is attending beforehand and the costs are starting to get up there. Most women won’t pay for an event like this, because most do not even bother filling out a bio. So, it is a bunch of sad people making small talk to kill time. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that Thailand exists (read about it here).

The Same Problems as Other Sites

Of course, Match.com shares similar issues as most of the other dating platforms. That would be entitled, flakey women. Women ignore me who I wouldn’t even approach in real life. They think, “forty with four kids, I can be selective, because I am a catch.” Admittedly, I have done to them what they have done to me, IE start talking and ghosting. I just get bored and sick of dating down. I work out, eat right, and make pretty good money, I am not dating someone who has the Twinkie delivery guy on speed dial.

There is also not much to choose from. Modern women are less datable on average, especially in your 40’s. After weeding out the fake profiles, single mom & never married, and the “curvy” ladies, there isn’t much left. I am told there is a 70-30 split between men and women. Those 30 are going for the top 5% of men. Quick math 30 women are going after 3.5 men, leaving 66 guys in the cold. No wonder you see the same faces months and years later still on Match.

Conclusion: A Review of Match.com for Men

I think I made my argument as to why Match.com is a waste of time for men. This is coming from someone who ten years ago found his wife on the site. Times have changed, dating has become more difficult and dating sites are worse. Maybe it is time to hang up your mouse, grow a pair and start approaching women. Take the power away from them and stop funneling money to companies that want to rip us off!

The post A Review of Match.com for Men: Why it is a waste of time appeared first on A Reinvented Man.

Most lessons of life are learned the hard way. Even if you are some 20-year-old who reads everything on the internet, it will be hard to comprehend a situation until you lived it. Still, if I can help someone from being totally blindsided this post is worth writing. Considering everything I went through these past two years, I have the scars to at least add value. Do as I say, not as I did! I started this blog because I lost everything... since then, the hits just keep on coming (both good and bad). Here are my ramblings about the things I learned in the past 46 years.

Time Goes by Quickly

This one is a real unique nugget of wisdom; I am sure you never heard that before. It is a cliché, but it is extremely accurate. Your days will feel like they drag on, but once you get into a routine, you blink, and the year is over. Time does not care if you have achieved what you wanted, it keeps rolling. In the next five years you can either be poorer, fatter, and more miserable or you can take steps to improve your life. All those reruns of the Office do not mean shiite, what matters is living a fulfilling life. Time can be a real bastard. Especially when you hit thirty, you turn around and you will be 45. You will see your parents and realize they are old. Hell, you will look at yourself and see an older version. Of all the things I have learned it is to act like time is flying, because time is flying. Life Lesson: Act with a sense of urgency

Life will Change in the Blink of an Eye

This post is real upbeat isn’t it. Fuck maybe I will add a picture of a kid burying his kitten to bring your spirits up. Sorry, it is the mood I am in. Everything you hold dear can be taken away from you, nothing is guaranteed to be forever, no matter how good it seems. You can and should do things to protect the important aspects of your life, yet no matter how much insurance you have it may not be enough. Not to say you are a victim, just that control isn’t always yours.

One day you are going through your daily routine, petting the dog, kissing the wife, the next you are in a little condo, single, broke. People you care about will die, layoffs will happen, wives will cheat. No persons perfect life goes untouched. Yes, some of us have more of these situations, but we all will have them.

Sometimes change will be something good, new job, girl, dog etc… Who am I kidding? The surprises tend to lean more toward the bad. That’s fine, it makes you stronger. Just remember no matter how good things seem, prepared to get blindsided. Life Lesson: Prepare the best you can for the worst

Take Care of Your Health

There is a quote “a healthy man wants a million things; an unhealthy man wants just one”. Of all the things I have learned, this stuck with me. Nothing else matters if you are not healthy. Poor health limits what you can do, how you feel, oh and can kill you. I know people who skipped important procedures for bullsh*t meetings at their job. Well, who is going to be in the meeting when they are dead?

Nothing, not your job, money, or even family trumps your health. You are not in a position to help anyone if you are ill. Yet most people don’t care, they will spend 10 hours working and not one in the gym. They eat terrible office food because it is free. Last I checked Cardiologist don’t work for nothing. Start putting first things first, and take care of your health every day, which leads to my next point. Life Lesson: It all starts and ends with your health

Daily Actions are What Matters

This is one of those life lessons that resonates with me. It is what you do every day that matters. If you want to be a writer, write daily. A runner, run daily, you get the point. You are a sum of your daily actions. You might not notice any progress at first, because change takes time.

So many people give up because they think they are not making any progress. They believe it is a waste of time. Yet will commit 20-hours a week to watching television. Spend some time daily to get better and you will improve. As mentioned in the first thing I learned, time flies. Those positive days will add up and you will be happier for the action you take.

Of course, the reverse is also true. Eat a cheeseburger, nothing happens. Eat one every day and you will look like Lizzo. You could either be moving forward or backward. The universe does not care which you choose. Life Lesson: Your daily actions predict who you are

Do Not Do What is Easy

I so wanted to watch YouTube and eat pasta today. It is raining, sure as hell did not want to jump in the car, face terrible traffic after a 9-hour day to workout. Easy gets you nowhere. Easy is what the average idiot on the street does.

Anything worthwhile takes effort. Starting with a degree. Accounting, Engineering, I still think finance (but some would disagree) these are all difficult. Sociology is not hard. I can say with confidence your life will be harder for taking the easy way out. One of the things I have learned about life is that you get what you put into it. Half arse effort gets you a half arse result. To put it another way, if you want a hard life, keep doing easy things. Life Lesson: Doing easy things leads to a hard life

People are Really Stupid

Not you… you got here, you’re not stupid. I am talking about most other people. Some times I just marvel about how brain dead the average person is. I am around Joe six packs every day, stuck with those same dumb conversations; how we ever split the atom is beyond me. Really listen to what people are saying. The majority of those around you are not independent thinkers, they are being fed information. Hell, a survey even said that most Americans get their news from Facebook. Talk about being fed information. Your average person is a shell…

The outcome of their life proves this. How is it that even today 64% of people live paycheck to paycheck? Some of it is bad luck, most of it is not having the basic knowledge of how money works. Yes, school does a terrible job explaining these things, but one can learn through various media sources. Yet, most can’t tell the difference between a bond and stock, at the same time somehow know the name of the backup QB on their local sports team. It is pathetic, some many people have no knowledge and critical thinking skills, just accept this. Life Lesson: Have no trust in the intelligence of those around you.

Have Little Faith in Authority

One of the major things I have learned in the last two years is most authorities do not know what they are talking about. Lucky for them the system keeps them in power. So many various institutions are just terrible at their job, yet they carry this air of superiority over us common folk.

I am not saying there are no experts in any subject, I am saying pick the right ones, not the people propped up by the various media sources. Whether it is money, health, hell even traffic patterns, take what you are being fed with a grain of salt. Most of these people have not taken the time to critically think about their position, or worse have an inflated self-worth in which they cannot be wrong. Regardless of their poor track record they are smug.

Take investing for example. Most people do not take the time to learn about finance, so they take advice from “experts”. They pay a small commision or listen to them intently on CNBC, they are authorities after all. Yet, the vast majority of hedge fund and portfolio managers underperform the general market. So random stock picks will actually do better than these bloated “experts”. I can bring in other examples, such as the medical authorities out there, we all witnessed how fallible they were over the last two years. Life Lesson: Just because someone went to school for something, it doesn’t mean they know what they are talking about.

Know who Your Friends Are

I recently lost a good friend. The kind of guy that made me want to be a better friend and person. That puts things into perspective. You realize who you can count on in this world and I will say there are not a lot of people who fit that description. There are those in this world who you think are your friends. Are they lifting you up? Are they making you a better human?

Or are these people you go to the bar with twice a week and talk about sports. People who have no problem with you being drunk every night. Really so they have someone to share their own miserable lives with. The bars near me are full of drinking buddies. There was a bunch of people who I saw once or twice a month when I went out. By no means would I call them friends, but I thought we were cool given I have hung out with them 6 or 7 times. On a lark I asked each one a simple question. What is my name? Not one could answer. These are not friends (and never will be). These are people to wallow in misery with.

This could also be said about coworkers. I can count on one hand the number of friends I have made from work. That is why I say don’t be friends with people at the job. Every time I left a company, people I saw everyday were never seen again. These were “friends” because they were forced next to you. I would never choose most of them in real life. You know when you have a real friend. Life Lesson: Know and appreciate your real friends, discard the rest.

Watch Your Addictions

What are you addicted to? You are addicted to something even if you do not know it. All addictions can ruin a man’s life. Some worse than others. There are the obvious things like drugs and alcohol and yet others that aren’t so clear. When I go out if it is a Tuesday or Saturday the same people are drinking, usually until closing time. I only go out once or twice a month, these people are there daily. Yet I had other addictions.

Admittedly I would get lazy some days. Well, a lot of days. Endlessly scrolling through YouTube or Netflix, armed with a bunch of unhealthy food I would turn off my brain. Recently I gave up all streaming services and TV, it is eye opening. At first (and still at times) my mind is almost in turmoil because I cannot turn it off. It is a stark realization as to exactly why I had to stop.

What are you doing to escape reality? One of the things I have learned is we all do something (or multiple things). Is it Porn, social media, or is it a particular person who you obsess over? Are you one of those guys always trying to get a girlfriend? These are questions you need to ask yourself. Is there something in your life you are using to turn off your mind? Life Lesson: Look for addictions that distract you from reality.

Live Like Your Dying

Even though I write like I am one problem away from French kissing a shot gun I love living. So many of us aren’t though. We are going through the motions. Living in someday land. Someday I will travel, get into shape etc…, but that never comes. It goes back to my first point, time flies.

Time does not give a rat’s arse what you do, it will keep moving. You might as well live your life. If you do not set and move in the direction you want your existence will be a prison. Take the time to really enjoy every day. Build the life you want or at least attempt to. Things will not be perfect, but effort goes far. Do your best to create the life you want. Life Lesson: Work at getting what you really want or live like the mindless drones you see throughout your day.

Conclusion: Ten Things I have Learned in the Past 46 Years

That is all I got for you. Those are the things I have learned. Well, I have about 100 more, but I told you ten and my hand is starting to hurt so that’s all you get. I have no idea if this sounded like some divine wisdom or the ramblings of an aging man, so let me know in the comments below. Too much time to think certainly made me ponder a lot of things. These are the ones you get until my 47th birthday.

The post Ten Things I have Learned in the Past 46 Years appeared first on A Reinvented Man.

All of this happened in a two-month time frame. In addition, I let myself go, gaining about 35lbs of not muscle. That was then and this is now. I would not be writing a post on how to bounce back when life knocks you down if I didn’t do it myself.

It was not easy. In fact, it was awful most of the time. Hard times will come. Either you can become stronger, or you let your life fall apart further. How you respond dictates which happens. Admittedly, there were days I did not know how I would make it through. Losing everything is not easy. The job market was terrible, and my days were filled with too much time to think.

In order to bounce back when life knocks you down, you need a long-term outlook. Sometimes it is nearly impossible to see better days ahead. The key thing to remember is to keep moving in the right direction… be so stubborn that eventually something good happens.

It worked for me, In the last year I have recovered a lot of what I lost. My life is not the same, in some ways it is better. After contracting, I was offered a fulltime position making more money than I ever did. In addition my relationship is stronger than ever, better then when I was married. My health has a small way to go, but I did take off about half the weight I gained. If I can make things better, so can you. Below is how to bounce back when life knocks you down.

Concentrating On What I Could Control

I could not control the fact that my company was so poorly run that they laid off 15% of their workforce because of a virus. I also could not control my wife’s feelings toward me. On the other hand, I could control the effort in which I tried to gain employment. No matter how many times I was rejected I kept pushing forward. I started looking around the country. After 7 months of unemployment, I found a position that pays better than the one I left. It was a contract at first, but I put in the effort and now it is full time.

There was no real secret except to focus on what I could do. The frustration was terrible at times, but I kept moving forward. Every day I contacted recruiters, applied to jobs, and reached out to people in my contact list. When things go wrong; we should only concentrate on our own behavior. Job offers are scarce, but they are rarer if you do not even try.

I also was in control of my health. I took the initiative and lost 20 of the 35lbs. Yes, I can always look better, but at least that is something under my control. My health is (currently) up to me.

Persistence

To bounce back when life knocks you down you can’t let yourself stop. It sounds cliché to say, never give up…but never give up. When you are aiming for a goal and especially when you have lost everything it maybe impossible to fathom things will get better. Too many people choose to just quit, that changes nothing

I had a coworker (who was also laid off) that would not even apply to jobs, she says no one is hiring. Well, I am working in a better spot now and she is still sulking in her room. I remember the day when I said I would not stop until I had started working again. How I did this was simple, I made the conscious effort to apply to as many positions a day I saw. It didn’t matter what part of the country, or how unlikely it was, I was going to keep plugging away until I had gotten the results that I wanted.

I was not perfect by any means, but I knew nothing changes unless you make the changes. That means fighting through failures, fighting through setbacks, rejection, pain etc. You never know what is around the next corner, or when the next attempt will result in the ending you want.

Take Ownership

You are not a victim. I was not a victim either. Yes, other peoples terrible decisions resulted in the loss of my job. Yes, my now ex-wife left me at a difficult point, but it was still my fault. I let myself be vulnerable. I did not lead in my marriage and let my circumstances get the better of me. Taking full ownership of your situation is freeing.

When you go into situations with a victim mentality, you are at the whims of other people. Saying to yourself, “I did this” is the first step to “how do I fix this”? The universe does not care if you are a victim or not, your crappy situation is yours to fix.

One of the things I hate so much about the society we live in is no one is to blame for their bad situation. Too many student loans, you are a victim. You are fat and out of shape…not your fault you are a victim of “society’s standards”. People who tell you that you are not responsible for your own life are not your friends or allies. There is no better way to keep someone down than to say, “no matter how hard they try they are doomed to failure”. Do not listen to anyone who blames others, take ownership of your own life.

Self-Improvement

Maybe I didn’t have a job, but I had time… thanks company. So, what did I do? I reflected a lot, took long walks to think. In addition, I increased my workouts. I learned new skills, like cooking. The one thing about being unemployed is that while you are working toward things getting better, you have the rare commodity of time.

There are only so many hours in the day; when working, I hardly do anything in the little free time I have. When I was laid off, I realized I can only apply to so many positions, did I watch T.V. all day? At first maybe, then I found ways to better myself. Sometimes when trying to figure out how to Bounce Back when life knocks you down, gaining a new skill will launch you forward. Do not waste the gift of time, no matter how depressed you are.

How am I Doing Now?

As mentioned, it has been a year (and change) since I lost my life, and it was not an easy year, but I pulled through. After the first 8-months of being unemployed my hard worked paid off. I received a job offer that paid more than my last spot. It was an incredibly tough year, but it passed.

As for my relationship, the situation has turned around as well. It is funny how a job makes one more attractive, my now Ex-wife and I are now close again, we will keep it at that. I still have hesitations about the relationship, but things are as good as they ever were when we were married. I am different so the marriage is different. One major change is I am not letting anyone else dictate my life. This is a story for another time.

I have some more work to do of course, I bounced back, but I am not perfect. My health and finances still are in recovery mode, but overall I would say I improved nicely. Yes, it was terrible, I could not always see the steps in front of me. At the end of the day, it is my life and it is up to me to fix it.

How to Bounce Back When Life Knocks You Down

So, what is your story? If you found this, you lost something. Hell, you may have lost a lot of somethings. This is where you become the person you should be. You do not grow during happy times. Obstacles and setbacks make you stronger. No one cares about your problems, so do not depend on anyone else to fix them. Your success depends on your reaction, so react wisely.

The post How to Bounce Back When Life Knocks You Down appeared first on A Reinvented Man.

You have no control over your livelihood when working for a large corporation. In addition, your potential will be capped, not to mention you will have your soul sucked out on a regular basis. I am not saying go out and quit your job today, as mentioned you do need to sustain yourself. What I am saying is if you do not have a backup plan you will run into some problems down the line.

The workplace used to be an area where a man can go, work hard, and get ahead. His efforts at least seemed in some part to produce positive results for his own life. These days it seems corporate life is just a mirror of how our government is set up.

Identity politics have replaced hard work. A company is no longer an area where a man can feel pride, in fact the opposite is true. These days, with enhanced human resources departments, a man is being neutered by his company. Corporate life is not conducive to our growth and development. I have seen too many guys have their lives ruined by being loyal to their employer. Below are some risks and negatives of corporate life for men.

Harassment Accusations in Corporate Life

You knew this one was coming, but it bears repeating. These days a man could lose his job and reputation by a woman merely accusing him of wrongdoing. I mentioned this in my article here , but I will share again a situation I witnessed first-hand.

In my last company a new employee “was befriended” by two women. One day he is scrolling his phone, out of the blue, one of the girls grabs it from him to look at a picture. She proceeds to go through some other images and sure enough finds something she did not like. He was fired two days later.

Let us be clear, there is no trial today. Men are guilty and that is that. All those weeks or months you spent securing a job. Throw that out the window, it is over because of an mere accusation. Some social justice warrior does not like what you are saying, you are back on the unemployment line. Regardless of if it’s a reality, a misinterpretation or some hag who thinks you are toxic…your career could be ended. I am not saying harassment never happens, I am saying show me the proof before destroying a man’s life.

This Includes Raising Your Voice …

As a side, women also will get you fired if you are mean to them. Seriously, my old boss fell victim to this. He took over for a woman who was useless, never showed up to work, yet held the position for 10 years. This man was in the position for 6-months and gets fired because he loses his temper a here and there. He did it to me about 20 times and I brushed it off or went back at him, this is what men do. The ladies tattled to HR and he lost his job. So what he doubled revenues in the short time he ran the department, he was mean to the women!

Clear Discrimination Towards Men

Did you know that because some other women were screwed over by a man in the workplace, it is perfectly acceptable to screw YOU over now? Apparently, that is the case. There is a push to move women up the ranks. I have no problem with a woman having a high up position if she is capable. My problem rests with choosing a woman over a man to fill a quota.

This happens a lot, I know I was the victim of this sort of favoritism. Corporate life has allowed men to be overtly discriminated against. My former boss (the useless woman I mentioned earlier) created a role for her yoga buddy (literally) that was exactly the same title as a male coworker of mine. By all accounts he was doing a good job, but this role was added anyway…doing something “different” was the company line. 4-months later he was laid off, a guy who was with the company for over 15 years, the yoga buddy remains.

I have heard this story time and time again. Companies basically state it with initiatives to push women forward. What does that mean? Men are to take a back seat in corporate life. This will go double if there is a woman in charge. I guess discrimination is ok in corporate life if the right people are being discriminated against.

Corporate Life Makes You Fat

If you are a man in the office, look around, how many well-nourished people do you see? There are many reasons for this, but the result is the same. Corporate life is terrible for a man’s health.

You are expected to sit for 9 hours at a time, at least, just looking busy. Humans are not built for this type of sedentary lifestyle. We evolved to move, but in corporate life you are basically chained to your desk. Usually by the time you get home from the office after fighting through traffic you are too tired to go to the gym. It almost seems purposeful, how they mentally wear you out.

Let us not forget how corporations “reward” their workers. No need for money when you can buy Costco pizza and supermarket cupcakes. A friend of mine once did an experiment. He wanted to see how many days he could walk through the office and get free food. I believe he gave up after 8 months…there is always some slop that is being handed out. Like I said I almost think it is done on purpose. Fat, weak men are easier to control.

Trading Time for Money

In corporate life, really any job, but especially corporate jobs, you are trading time for money. When I owed rental properties, I went on vacation or sat around on a Sunday and I still got paid. There is still work in owning rentals, but at times I made money in my sleep once all the upfront things to do are complete.

In a job you do not show up, you do not get paid. You may burn through PTO, but for the most part you only get money when you are physically there. Here is the worst of it, it does not matter if you produced anything of value when you are at the office (or home these days).

I think the reason this is the worst part about trading time for money, is it gives you a false sense of productivity. How many people slave away in an office, and get almost nothing accomplished? People brag about working 60 hours a week, but they do not really do anything. Trading time for money is rewarding people to be less productive.

Not Paid for What You Create

A related outcome is that since you are getting the same amount of money day in and day out you do not get rewarded properly. If I save my company 5 million dollars, I may get a phony blue-ribbon award or some other made up hack corporate trophy.

You get paid the same amount if you provide millions in value or if you provide squat. You may argue, “but I will get a bigger raise and bonus”. Managers do not remember the work you put in 5 months earlier, you will get the same standard 3% as you always did.

There is No Meaning in Your Work

How many people in corporate life feel a connection to what they are doing? More likely than not you are just trying to mindlessly get through the day. I am not saying you need some great passion for your job.

I do believe we have to feel like there is some sort of meaning to what we are trying to accomplish. There is no greater hell than putting in nine or ten hours a day, for years or even decades and feeling like you did not make one bit of difference. Like all you did was push papers around and there was no purpose to your work. That is what corporate life has to offer.

Much of the reason for this is the fact that there are so many jobs that are just bull. Jobs that seem to add no value, if (and when) these positions are cut no one even notices.

Then there are the jobs that do provide some purpose but are filled overwhelmingly with minutia. Meetings and projects that go nowhere and reports that no one reads. Sometimes I think that shoveling horse manure would be better. At least at the beginning of the day I saw a pile of manure and at the end of the day it would be gone…I would feel like I accomplished something. In corporate life there is no sense of accomplishment.

You Associate with Losers

If you are back in the office, look to your left and then to your right…what do you see? Most likely overweight losers. The men especially seemed to have given up on life. They wear their khaki pants and short sleeved collar shirts with the company logo on them as their belly hangs past their waist.

Their conversations are especially boring, god once football season starts up these overweight losers take pride (or feel shame) from their team where they happen to live. These guys wear the jerseys of 24-year old kids who make thirty times what they make for playing a game! On top of that they tie their sense of accomplishment to how these kids do on the field. How else can they be seen, but as losers? I like football, but my happiness does not equate to how the Giants do.

Now you are associating with these awful people daily. They say you are an average of the five people you spend the most time with. Do you really want to be an average of the idiots at your job? These men who get bossed around by their wives, who are weak and in debt? Most have no goals outside of hitting Taco Bell after work. They bore you with stories of little Johnny’s little league game because they have nothing else going on in their lives.

Your Stress is Through the Roof

There is a reason why men are having heart attacks more frequently these days, and it is not only our diets. I touched on health earlier in terms of weight gain but let us take it a step further and talk about stress. Stress is a huge factor in many diseases and health. Read here to learn more about this. Corporate life causes much more stress than is necessary

There is a constant pressure to perform as well as deadlines for projects that will go nowhere anyway. You go from looking for work to do to running at full speed. Much of the stress is when something happens that is out of your control. Your boss will come down on you about a problem that costs the company money. The CEO should be blaming himself for the policies that he (or more likely she) implemented. Yet, somehow everything is your fault. You are under pressure to fix it.

You may go days trying to look busy, then a report that takes a week to do will be given a deadline of C.O.B. Now you are sitting there until 9PM working, taking a toll on your body.

Then there are the backstabbing coworkers who try to throw you under the bus. A bad boss or colleague can make your days into a special type of hell. Combined this stress with the lack of exercise and “treats” you get, it is no wonder so many men are having heart attacks at such a young age.

Forced Indoctrination

More and more companies are forcing their propaganda down our throats. As additional college kids graduate the HR departments are turning into social justice wings of corporate America. The problem is, you accept this or leave. When did it become OK for a company to control our thoughts? I have taken 50 of those computer courses on diversity, sexual harassment, and gender. Now we have been trained so we can all walk on eggshells around our colleagues as to not say something offensive.

These are nothing more than someone pushing left wing politics on to their employees and customers. Starbucks used to sell coffee, now they want to have a conversation about race. The main culprits are a bunch of elitists at the top of the company combined with millennials trying to push society the way they want. These people seemed to forget what the purpose of a company is, and that is to make money for shareholders.

As a man you are now forced to accept the reality of the your employer or lose your livelihood. God forbid you admitted you were a conservative or your religious beliefs have you thinking that a penis makes you male. Your “white privilege” is showing if you disagree and it could be career killing. There is no better way to neuter a man than to make him betray his core values…this is what corporate life does to men.

It is a Purposeful Waste of Time

So much of our day could be wrapped up in about two hours. Let us face it in corporate life you are either racing to finish a project or wasting time to fill the void. The fact that so many have so little to do creates a class of employees obsessed with busy work.

Time is a valuable resource for a man. Yet how many useless company town hall events are we expected to attend? How many stupid corporate computer courses are we forced to take? People know when you are busy, yet they cram yet another meeting down your throat.

I feel like this is all planned, if you had down time, they cannot control you. Therefore, you are inundated with useless emails to read and respond to. We spend so much time doing busy work that we must stay late just to finished are needed responsibilities.

Worthless employees also do this to justify their own jobs. Let us face it you can probably fire half the people at a company (if you choose correctly) and not miss a beat in terms of profitability. Employees will run from meeting to meeting and send useless emails to show everyone that they are important. They drag you down the time-wasting bunny hole with them.

In a perfect world, you do the productive labor in the time it takes. Then the rest is up to you…you do not have some slob making up things to keep you busy.

They Control Your Life

A man is not free when his existence is dependent on a corporation. I found this out the hard way. Being cast aside in the worst recession of modern times is humbling. I gave the company control of my life and paid for it.

When you work for a company everything you do and say is under their foot. Post the wrong thing on social media? You lose your job. Want to take a two-week vacation? Ask permission like a child. So many people will not even use their paid leave because they feel obligated not to leave the office. Work for 50 years, never take a vacation…retire, die. Some life.

Even your free time is not your own. How many of you had to work during the weekend or went on a business trip where you were expected to sit with your boss after hours? Company events and happy hours are additional examples of how they take what little spare time you have left.

More and more these days companies want to have control over your freedom, what you say, think, and how you dress. If you depend solely on a company, you cannot control how much money you make. Like I said earlier, hard work does not equal more money. This is why they take so much of your time, if you had free time then you could work on something that makes you financially independent. Your independence is what they fear.

There are some companies that literally microchip their employees. These weak men allow themselves to be chipped like they are a dog. I guess if you already have been neutered then getting chipped is a simple step.

Conclusion: Corporate Life: Negatives and Risks for Men

If you are working in a corporation your focus needs to be on escape. Use them now for a livelihood, but you do not want to be living like this for the next 40 years. Build something yourself. Have some faith in your own abilities, find a path forward and keep working until you no longer need your company to survive.

The post Corporate Life: Negatives and Risks for Men appeared first on A Reinvented Man.

I am just a man living through this situation, not a marriage counselor or Oprah relationship expert. Having said this, I would argue so many marriages are failing because men are no longer leaders in their household. Women see this and although they push a different narrative, they lose respect for a man when he follows. This would explain why women initiate about 80% of the divorces.

Today’s society has warped the family unit and nature itself. Human beings are mammals. Both men and women have biological predispositions, evolution made us that way. Yet today all the roles are being reversed. Women demand to be leaders and men are coddling and weak.

Men biologically are supposed to be strong. If you are letting your wife wear the pants in the family, you are doing your marriage a disservice. I am not saying lead in a controlling or abusive way, so please do not get any stupid inferences. If you are asking why so many marriages are failing, I would argue that both men and women are equally responsible because the way the institution is viewed today.

Most Marriages are Unhappy

First and foremost, marriages are failing because no one is happy. Stats do not lie. I already pointed out that 50% of marriages end in divorce. Some argue that this number is higher but let us keep this at 50%. Of the last 50%, at least 40% say they are not happy in the marriage. Do some quick math, 100 people get married, 50 divorce another 20 are not happy. There is a 70% chance you are unhappy in a marriage, therefore unhappy in life. How many of those last 30% are just telling themselves they are happy but are lying to avoid admitting they have boring lives?

Other articles lower the happiness number to 17% (reference here) That means that you are dropping 5K – 10K on a ring, paying crazy amounts for a wedding to have less than a one in five shot at a happy life. I do not like those odds.

Men Are no Longer Leaders

Why are so Many Marriages Failing? To begin with men are no longer leaders in their household. Our culture is encouraging men to no longer be in charge. In almost every society in the history of this world men headed the household. In most of the animal kingdom the male leads the family. Now humans are convincing men that they should not be strong. If you are not a provider, protector, and are weak, pack it up now.

This warped idea of toxic masculinity is being spread everywhere these days; suddenly after thousands of years a man’s natural characteristics are looked upon as toxic. We need to shut up and listen to our wives (or we are mansplaining). Women can be (and should be) the bread winner. God the idea of a stay at home dad makes me cringe. Remember watching animal planet and seeing the male lion take care of the cubs while the female protects the family? I do not either.

Men Have Become Weak…

Men’s very nature as leaders and providers has been corrupted. These guys calling their wife “the boss” or living by the motto “happy wife happy life” are killing their women’s attraction toward them.

We are also being pushed out of the workforce. I saw numerous examples firsthand in which a male (who did a good job) was forced out and a woman took over. This was not due to work performance. I know because I was one of them. I will tell my story at a future date, but my career was almost ruined in the name of equality.

We are no longer the bread winners; we cannot have opinions in our own home, and we have allowed ourselves to become physically and mentally weak. How do you think that translates to attraction? If you are asking why are so many marriages failing, quick answer, because so many men are failing.

Women Give Up Easily

As men get weaker their wives’ attraction for them falls. It is funny how some speak out of both sides of their mouth. They say they speak ill of a man who shows masculine qualities yet will leave their soy boy husbands for someone with those same attributes. You cannot fight nature. Women resent men who they feel have no goals (or at least goals they understand) and are looked upon as weak.

Unfortunately, so many women have also been conditioned by the millions of Simps that they can always do better. After they leave their husbands’ they realize that the guys they meet are either going to use them or they are just as pathetic as their husbands. This leaves both parties unhappy.

It can happen quickly

A woman will lose attraction for a man in the blink of an eye. It is easy to figure out what men want…stay in shape, do not destroy your own hair, we are attracted to physical beauty. That is not the only thing that will keep us happy, but as far as attraction is concerned that is what is needed. No one is asking for a supermodel. As long as you make some effort, we will still love you.

At any time in a marriage a woman will lose attraction for her husband, sometimes through no fault of his own. Lose your job and be in a weaker position financially, you will lose your wife’s attraction. Think I am crazy? Read this article here, where the writer basically admits it. Women are attracted to strength, no matter what they say, get into a place of weakness or lose your drive and she is gone. Whether it is your job or your own pathetic behavior. In the old days, a woman would stand by her man until he was back on his feet…now society says men are not needed. Marriages are failing not only because of weak men, but because women throw away a lifetime of commitment with the first sign of weakness.

False Expectations

I think women love the idea of being married, and the idea of a beautiful wedding more than what it brings with it. Our culture has a prince charming syndrome, where a marriage is all fairy tales and butterflies. To me, women are in love with the Hallmark version of a marriage, while men are in love with the woman herself. In turn I do not think men realize the work that goes into keeping a marriage happy.

Often reality kicks in after about 6 years, especially if you have a kid or two. Now you are stuck in a monotonous situation and the fairytale of marriage is replaced with the fairytale of freedom. It could take a spark, such as a sudden job loss or it could be a slow burn, where the wife gradually loses respect for the man over time. When it hits a tipping point; it is over and the guy cannot understand what happened. He did not realize that he could never live up to the expectation in his wife’s head. If you want to know why so many marriages are failing, it is because lofty expectations destroyed them before they started.

Trying to Change Him

Women love to “change” men. They marry them, then they dissect their lifestyles and nag to them about things they do not like. If you allow it, before you know it you cannot eat meat in the house and your entire wardrobe has changed. Plus say goodbye to any goals you may have.

Men are simple in terms of what we want. Stay reasonably attractive, do not cause us too much stress and help keep the home clean. Sorry, women are just cleaner than men, and there is nothing worse than a dirty woman.

Ways Men Can Keep their Marriages from failing

Maybe I am not the best person to give advice given my marriage is ending, but I feel like I have acquired a lot from the experience. I plan on writing more about how to keep marriage healthy later on, but below are the highlights I have learned so far as what men can do to keep their marriages from failing.

1. Be a Leader: If you want your wife to stay, then you need to keep attraction alive. This cannot be done if you have no direction. Make the decisions and take the lead the with finances (but be transparent). Obviously discuss it with her, but there can be only one leader in a relationship.
2. Better Yourself: You should do this whether you are married or not. Do not just wander through life with no direction. Get in shape, put down the porn and video games and make something of your life. Something you want from this existence (not what others want). This again keeps attraction high.
3. Put Your Foot Down Early: Make it clear what you want and who you are early in the relationship and stick with it. Refuse to change your beliefs or goals just to make her happy. If one day she tells you, “we are vegan now”…you better be putting burgers on the grill that night. Be unapologetically yourself.
4. Tackle Boredom: This goes back to being a leader. If you find your days are all the same, make it a point to fix this. Plan dates or communicate what will work for both of you. Also set some lofty goals together that you can both work toward. This will help you both enjoy the marriage better.

Conclusion: Why are so Many Marriages failing

Marriage is not easy. Once the glitz of the wedding is gone real life begins. Commitment is weak these days. The allure of the free life and the grass is always greener mentality is prevalent all through our society. Our grandparents knew commitment (sometimes to a fault), yet these days we cannot sit through a dinner without checking our phone for something more interesting. If you are not married remember how many unhappy marriages there are before taking the plunge.

The post Why are so Many Marriages Failing? appeared first on A Reinvented Man.

I can relate to this situation, since at 44 I was laid off during the worst recession since 1930. This site is more geared toward men, but I believe this advice can help anyone. When laid off at 40 one needs to first, accept what has happened and the emotions that go with it. Second, one needs to deal with the blowback of the situation from a family/responsibility point of view. Third, and most importantly, you need a financial and career strategy. Finally, after the dust has cleared you may start to think of this as a blessing.

Layoffs at any age can be tough, but at 40 it can be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Below I break down the steps on how to deal with a layoff at 40 and some of the unique challenges’ men face.

Accept the Loss and Emotions

There will be a whirlwind of emotions that will go through a man’s mind, especially when we are older. At 40, I see all my friends hitting their stride in their careers and here I am sitting at home all day. This could be further complicated by the fact that our self-worth is tied to our earning power.

What results is anger, depression, and denial. Give yourself a day or two to accept this, but that is all. The reality is we do not have the luxury of time on our side. If you are in your 40’s the clock is ticking, a pity party and anger does not solve the problem. We are unemployed and we need to act. Other sites may tell you that it is OK to feel depressed. It is, but it does not solve anything, we need to fix the situation. The sooner you accept the reality, the sooner you can get out of it.

Telling Your Love Ones

There are people that are in the need to know and people that are not. I personally did not tell my family (father, brother, etc…) until months after my furlough. My wife on the other hand I told right away. When you are in your 40’s you may or may not be married. For me, this conversation was just as hard as being told I was furloughed.

I am going to say something that may sound harsh; even if the layoff was not your fault, your wife may look at you differently. This is especially true if she has a successful career of her own. Two weeks after I lost my job my wife tells me she wanted to split. She gave me several reasons, but there is no way one can convince me losing my job had nothing to do with it.

I am not sure if it is the same way for men. On a personal front, there was a brief time my wife was unemployed, and my feelings for her did not change. Whether or not you tell the rest of your family is up to you, I feel the less people that know the better for your psyche and the less unsolicited advice you will get.

Develop a Plan

When deciding what to do after being laid off at 40 you need to keep a clear head. You have two priorities 1) making sure your family can sustain itself 2) Finding another Job.

Let us start with making sure you and your family can sustain itself. It is important to have all the information you have about your benefits and rights from your former employer. You need to find out exactly when your medical insurance is over and what Cobra will cost. Usually you have until the end of the month to figure that out. If you are furloughed many times, you will keep your benefits for a set period. Mine was 90 days (then I was laid off anyway). This is all company specific so reach out to HR.

You also need to ask about unpaid vacation or severance. Hopefully you will have a bit of money coming in that can help cushion the blow. I would also apply for unemployment as soon as possible. These days it can take some time to get paid.

Create (or Update) A Budget

The next step after being laid off is to sit down and take inventory. Excel is your friend here, so use it to list out all your savings and expenses for the month. Look everywhere when it comes to savings you may have, including all liquid assets available. It is about sustainability; you need to make things last until you are back on your feet.

It is important to be diligent about where every penny goes. As we hit our 5th decade, we can’t afford to take on too much debt and we certainly do not want to touch our retirement savings. Cut your expenses to the bare bones and leave your future intact.

Finding a New Job: Advantages of Being Laid Off at 40

We do have a leg up on our younger brethren in some regards when finding a new position. Keep the below advantages in mind when redoing your resume and applying for a new job.

1. Our Resumes Should Look Better: Twenty years of experience looks a lot better than two. Having years of a work history to pull from can be a big help when trying to be competitive. Not too mention the various, hard and soft skills, you have acquired throughout the years.
2. Our Network Should Be Bigger: You probably have met a lot of people in your years in the workforce. This can be highly beneficial to the job search; you never know who will help you in the future.
3. We Know the Corporate Game: Being in the workforce for 15 or 20 years should teach you the process. You know how interviewers are, the mindset of HR, etc… This is an advantage that we have over the 20 something year old kid that can not understand why he is not getting any job hits with his purple resume.

Disadvantages of Being Laid Off at 40

Things are not all roses and cream, there are certainly things working against us when we are laid off at 40.

1. We Will Be Told We are Overqualified: You almost must dumb down your resume at times. After being let go two different interviewers told me I was too qualified for the job I was applying for. The pay looked right, but they thought I would get bored due to my experience.
2. Age Discrimination is Real: It is almost impossible to prove but get some millennial hiring manager and you could be out of luck. Many times, they have this superiority complex or just the opposite, they may feel intimidated by you. Either way your age is considered a negative.
3. Companies will try to pay you less: I notice this more during this recession, companies are low-balling employees, because they can. Allow this to happen and you can hurt your entire career. Unless it is absolutely necessary that you find work, do not take less than you are worth.

Developing a budget so as you can form some type of stability and getting a new position are your top priorities. This is also a good time to consider your future.

Is This Lay Off A Blessing?

I understand that financial worry may be the strongest thing you feel right now, but there may be a bright side to all this turmoil. I do not know you, but if I had to guess, you did not really like your job. You were going through the motions for years and now here you are.

Sometimes we need to be shaken up a bit in order to set our life on the right path. The comfortable corporate environment that we had was not conducive to living a better life. Do you really want to be a corporate slave for the next 25 years? Yes, I know getting a new job is a priority, but another priority is figuring out a way not to have to depend on a company for money. People do it all the time, it is a matter of cracking the code. Use the extra time (and anger) to develop a way to be financially independent of any company.

Even if you plan on working for another corporation developing a side income can give you F$ck you money so you never have to rely on them again.

Conclusion: What to Do When Laid Off at 40

Being laid off at a pivotal point in our careers is no fun, but it does not have to be a death sentence. Follow the steps above, realize you are not alone, and you will get through this time.

Also remember, after you hit forty the window of opportunity to direct the last half of your life is slowly closing. Use this negative experience and turn it into a learning lesson. It is time to direct your future the way you want to and not be subject to the whims of a company.

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