With what seems like a never-ending push to eliminate traditional masculinity, you will find a thousand articles on “manliness” on the internet. Most of these are written to train men rather than teach real virility. Our young men are being brainwashed into weakness; a weak man is easy to control; they are being taught to be servants. Out of frustration I decided to look at it from another angle and discuss things a man should never do. Understandably some of these may sound trivial, but I want to establish a theme of strength and honor.
Of course, there are more than ten things a man should not do. I can write a book on what behaviors men should avoid. These are just some of the things I have been pondering. We need to do better, or we risk becoming extinct. A lot of guys are buying into this idea of modern masculinity, because they are lazy, it is more comfortable than the alternative. It may be easier to watch The View and have dinner ready for your wife when she gets home, but it is not how men are built.
What is going on in Western Society today is sad. Too many of us are letting our laziness and impulses rule our behavior. It might sound like hyperbole to write, but I think the future of society is at stake. Do not make any mistake about it, those in power want us weak. Livestock are easily ruled, therefore there is a push to make men sheep.
There is a code of conduct that every man should follow. We need to be ethical, not impulsive. Strong, and not reckless. Let me jump into this discussion of things men should never do.
Wear a Jersey/Be Addicted to Sports
I lumped these two together because they are related, although each could technically get their own section. Unless you are a 10-year old boy or on a professional team, there is no way in hell a jersey should find its way onto your body. I love these guys that walk around with a Tom Brady jersey on their back. They are commonly a 250lb., out of shape 40- year-old man, who has never played a down of football.
When you put a jersey on your back you are telling the world that you idolize another man. Many times, this person you are bowing down to is in his late teens or early 20s, mentally a child. It is bad enough people worship kids playing a game, but they announce it to the world. You are telling everyone how much you look up to another because he plays a sport well. Why don’t you bring this guy in to sleep with your wife, tape it, and play it for your friends and coworkers? It will be just as humiliating.
Never put another man on a pedestal. You can respect and learn from someone’s accomplishments, but unless you are deeply religious, there is no one you should be worshiping.
Addicted to Sports….
On a similar token, stop obsessing over sports. I know men, grown men, who let a game played by children ruin their weekend when their team loses. Sports are fine, but you should be playing them not sitting on your couch with Dorito stained hands watching. In the days of the Roman Empire, sports were used to control the masses, they are today as well it seems.
When we waste time obsessing about our team and memorizing stats of our favorite player, we aren’t working to enhance our own life. Sports turn off your mind, which is ok every now and again, but not consistently. When fixated on sports you are drowning out reality. Football, baseball, and basketball are arbitrary games where people are paid millions to play, do not put too much emotion into it.
It is sad whenever I am with a group of other men, all they do is talk about their favorite team (usually where they happened to be born). People are extremely passionate about it, sometimes violently. I guess it is easier than discussing something of substance. It is unfortunate they do not get as passionate about the state of their lives as they do about their local sports team.
Pursue Another Man’s Wife or Girlfriend
I will admit I have done this in the past, and I have felt like a jerk after the dust cleared. It was 12- years ago and it still bothers me. Never again will I hook up with a married woman. First, by doing so I am hooking up with a low-quality person. Any woman who cheats is not the cream of the crop. Why would I want to be with someone who is low-quality?
Secondly I know how painful a divorce can be, I do not want to be a factor in causing one. Besides the legal consequences (in North Carolina you could be sued for being the other man), there is the knowledge that you participated in destroying someone’s life.
This goes for trying to steal another man’s girlfriend as well. You do this to someone, someone does it to you, do we really need all this conflict over women? Single women are a dime a dozen, do not pursue one that is taken.
Going after a married woman says something about your character. We all have heard about a person that slept with his friend’s wife. How do you view that guy? Is that the type of man you want to be? Do you really get your self-esteem from the approval of women? That is a sign of weakness, not strength. If you are willing to destroy another person’s life to get your rocks off you are corrupt. Be a man with morals, find your own woman.
Forget to Have Standards
Why is it no matter how obviously wretched a woman is men will line up to give her compliments and hook up with her? So many of us have blinders on when it comes to relationships. The problem is men have not set up standards for their partner. They see a girl and they are desperate for her attention and approval.
Women can ruin your life. I repeat, they can ruin your life. You get into a relationship without vetting the person first, you are risking your money and freedom. She could be violent, the town pump, deeply in debt etc… yet many men will not know this (or ignore the signs) until the ring is on her finger. You need to look for red flags from the first date (read my post here on this)
I am the first to admit I did not always have standards. When I was younger, I was so obsessed with getting a girlfriend that I did not demand quality. These mistakes were paid for in headaches and heartbreak. Alcoholics, women who became obese, cheaters, I have gone through it all. Finding a quality woman may feel like finding a needle in a haystack, but it will save you a lot of trouble in the long run. Please learn from my mistakes, have standards
Allows Himself to Get Bullied
A man must have the capacity to commit violence but must also have the self-control to only use it when absolutely necessary. Violence should always be the last resort, still there are times when it is essential. It may sound strange, a grown man getting bullied, but it happens. Go to a party or a bar where too much alcohol is being served and you can find yourself in a risky situation.
Violence is not the only way a man can get bullied. A boss or coworker that degrades you in front of the team (or at all) is a bully. Of course, I am not advocating violence against your employer. You can verbally and professionally stand up to a superior, making it clear you are no one’s punching bag. One of two things can happen when you stand up for yourself, he will back off or you will lose your job. Both are preferable to being bullied at work.
Men are also bullied by their wives. How many weak guys have you seen cower to their woman in the supermarket or a department store? Contrary to what society is telling you, you need to be the man in your relationship. This means taking the lead and not rolling over and letting your wife or girlfriend degrade you.
When it comes to things a man should never do, allowing himself to get bullied is high on the list. If you let someone walk all over you, you will be a doormat your whole life. Whether it is a friend, boss, coworker, wife, or a stranger, assess the situation and pick the appropriate response to make it clear you are no one’s target.
Waste Time on Social Media
My favorite line in Game of Thrones was “a lion does not concern himself with the opinions of the sheep.” Facebook is where the sheep hang out. There is truly little upside to using Social Media. Do you really need to know what the kid who sat next to you in 8th grade had for dinner?
Social media is a cesspool of people arguing and trying to get confirmation bias for their own wretched opinions. These people are not thinkers, they are livestock. The louder someone is on Facebook, the less intelligent they seem to be. People on these sites spew out their half-baked ideas to the public, blaming their problems on someone else. I personally got rid of my Facebook account years ago.
I never understood the appeal of Twitter as well, it is a collection of nuts with bullhorns. Every now and again a “media” organization will use Twitter rants as a news story. Why is this? They are picking and choosing the tweets to make you think the way they want you to. A weaker minded individual will say, “everyone agrees so I must as well.”
The only account I still have is Instagram, and this is for one of my blogs. I rarely go on it anymore; it too is mind-numbing. Instagram is for people who want to show the world how wonderful their life is, once again to gain the approval of others. This goes back to the G.O.T. quote “The lion does not care about the opinion of the sheep,” if you are trying to impress people with shirtless pics, you are no lion.
Follow in a Relationship
Ignore this advice to your own peril, if you do not lead in your marriage or relationship you will lose your partner. Take it from me, I lived this mistake. Do not pay attention to the popular nonsense out today, a man needs to be the head of the household. Unfortunately, the majority of men today do not lead because they are A) voluntarily giving away their power or B) Lazy.
Women respect strength. I know the Huffington Post will say that I am spewing out toxic masculinity but being overly emotional or showing weakness will doom your relationship. You need to take the lead in the decision making (I am not saying ignore your wife’s input). Even something as small as “what do you want for dinner or what movie shall we see?”… be decisive. No matter how equally a woman wants to be perceived, leadership and strength naturally breed attraction. Lose that and you lose your relationship.
Gossip
One of the things a man should never do is gossip. Gossip is for old ladies and women at hair salons, not men. It is done by inferior people to make themselves look and feel better. Talking behind a person’s back or spreading rumors and half-truths is just a low thing to do.
Nobody is perfect, and we all have our shortcomings. I could think of no good reason to point out someone else’s problems to the world. There is nothing more pathetic than watching a man tell stories like he is Mildred in the nursing home. This is another reason to stay off social media, it is full of people revealing each other’s worse mistakes.
What do you accomplish by bringing someone’s problems out into the public? All you do is make yourself look bad and hurt another human being. I know these days it is all the vogue to throw others under the bus for your own amusement. In my eyes you look like an untrustworthy jerk when you engage in this behavior. Do not speak ill of people until you know the facts and do not pass on those facts unless it is relevant. You will be a better man for it.
Cheats
I understand the urge to step out on your partner, I was married for 6 years. Sex in a long relationship can get monotonous, but that does not give you the right to be unfaithful. Be a man, if something is not working for you, fix it, end it, or live with it.
Of course, there may be exceptions, but they are rare. I know wives that happily (and unilaterally) end sex in a marriage. They will also make a divorce difficult. If this is happening and there is no way to fix the issue, infidelity can almost be excused. Still, every other option should be exhausted to remedy the situation before you do this.
Most cheaters do not fall into the above category. Before breaking the vow that you took ask yourself if you desire to be viewed as a cheater. We all must look ourselves in the mirror and not feel shame. If you break your commitment, gravely hurting someone you care about in the process, what kind of man does that make you? A man with morals and self-control does not step out on his wife.
Become a Parasite
Some men, especially young men, do not seem to have a problem with expecting others to take care of them. They have become parasites, draining society and/or their family of resources. When did it become socially acceptable to be a leech? So many today are entitled and lazy, they would rather complain and demand handouts than earn their own living.
Look no further than a Bernie Sanders rally, you will see grown men (well legal adults) demanding someone else pay for their student loans, health care, and rent. There is no shame in asking for (or getting) help when you have been kicked in the teeth by life, as long as it is not stolen or expected. There is shame in demanding the world to take care of you. You are not entitled to anything you did not earn. Grow up and take care of yourself.
Being a parasite does not only entail sponging off the government, it includes leeching off your wife or parents. If you are 30-years old and living with mommy and daddy (with no plan) then you are a parasite. I understand things happen, but the situation needs to be temporary.
As for your wife, if you are surviving off her you are failing yourself, your partner, and your marriage. A man takes care of himself and family. Period. I have known full time sponges who never work and let their wives pay the bills. I do not understand how they can live with themselves. If you are being taken care of by the government, your wife, or mommy and daddy you’re a child.
Quits
I will end this on a positive note. My motto these last few months has been, “this world will have to kill me, because it is not going to break me.” Life is not easy; this year has proven that for many men. It feels like every day there is some trainwreck or setback. Eventually if we keep going the universe will get tired of throwing disasters our way.
I spoke to a fellow coworker who got laid off, she told me she stopped trying to find work. Her exact words were, “I quit, no one wants me, I am no good for anyone, everything in my life has fallen apart.” This is how women think, not men; it certainly is not how I will face these difficult times.
Yes, things are tough, but I know I must keep moving forward. If I write 10,000 words and no one reads this site, I will write another 10,000. If I get rejected in 100 interviews, I will send my resume to another 100 companies. At the end of the day all we can do is fight for the life we want. I honestly believe even though there are setbacks you keep plowing ahead and good things will happen.
Things a Man Should Never Do
Those are ten, but there are certainly more things a man should never do. The above is what jumped out at me, even I have committed some of these crimes against masculinity. If you fairly examined this list, it would be hard to argue any of these points. Unfortunately, many will disregard what I have to say here, it is easier than facing reality.