Can you start over in your 40’s? I would not be writing this or even have started this site if I thought you could not. Trying to figure out how to start over at 40 or older can be a daunting task. You may have lost (almost) everything like me or just be stuck in a rut, but it is never too late to change the direction of your life.
The main thing needed when trying to figure out how to start over at 40 is purpose. You need to figure out exactly what you want out of life, not what your parents wanted, society expects, what YOU want. Without direction there is no starting over.
Given I lost so much (read the About Me section to read more) at the age of 44, I have to imagine and craft the life that I want in my head. Now it is a matter of working to make this life a reality. Below I will give a couple of more tips on how to start over at 40 or older.
What Other Option Do You Have?
Before I begin the steps of how to start over at 40, ask yourself the above question. If you lost everything or are in a life you hate can you afford to not take the steps to start over? Do you want to spend the next 5, 10, 15, or 20 years rotting away in an existence you hate? If your life is not what you want it to be you have two choices, suffer, or change it. I do not think I would voluntarily choose a life of suffering.
Time is Valuable
In our 40s time is not on our side like it was when we were in our 20’s and 30’s. At 25 I thought I had all the time in the world to create the life I wanted. Along the way it was so easy to get caught up in the day to day hustle of a corporate job, relationships, and marriage. Our dreams start to be replaced with comfort and certainty.
Now that you are starting over in your 40s, things are different. You need to buckle down, there is no more wasting time…once you figured out what you want out of life, every waking moment must be concentrated on building the existence you desire. EVERYDAY IS CRUCIAL TO WORKING ON YOUR GOALS!
Limit the Noise
This world is full of things to distract us or waste our time. The obvious such as T.V., social media, etc… need to be cut out. Then there are the less obvious things, having too much stuff for example and the way this clutter drains our time and mind. Friends talking you into drinks every night can also get in the way. Anything that is keeping you from working on your goals is now a liability you cannot afford to take on.
Energy is Key
No matter where you are in your journey it is important to take care of yourself. If you are starting over at 40 you may not have the same energy levels as you did when you were in your 20s. That is not set in stone. Once you get a healthy diet and exercise routine in place your energy will come back to better levels. You cannot accomplish your goals while living an unhealthy lifestyle. If you try, you will find you do not have the energy to work late nights or long days.
One of the best things about improving your health when starting over at 40 is it is one of the few things you can control. Yes, you can act toward the dream career or new relationship. Sometimes it is a waiting game. Many times, you must rely on others to move forward. Improving your health is something you can do now and see direct results to your actions.
Break Out of Your Comfort Zone
When starting over at 40 there will be setbacks. Things may be difficult and uncomfortable. There may be days, weeks, months, and even years were almost no progress is being made. You will fail. Especially if you are trying something outrageous, there will be failures. Everyone fails, when you succeed no one sees the failures, they just look at the accomplishment.
There will be a time when everything is going wrong and that the little voice in your head is telling you to quit. You are too old. How can you start over at 40? You should just give up. This is the same jerk of a voice that got you where you are to begin with. You need to ignore that voice in your head and keep pushing.
Self Confidence is Key
There will be people trying to get you back to the standard. I recently just had my life blown up on many fronts. People close to me told me you will get married again and find a great job. It does not sink in to anyone that my long term goals are not to work for a corporation and have a wife. Yet people will push you or shame you into living the life they think you should…ignore them.
This is your life, not theirs, do not let others dictate how you live. I will not lie, spouses (especially wives) can be great at killing dreams. Do not disrespect your spouse, but do not let them stand in your way. Unless of course your dream is to have several girlfriends on the side, not a great goal in this situation.
Excuses Need to Be Stopped
We are great at talking ourselves out of living the life we want. I personally do not have kids, but you might. You may say, I will start over when the kids are older, or my wife doesn’t like me doing XYZ…stop this thinking. Of course, if you have obligations take care of them, do not neglect your family (if you have one). On the other hand, do not use them as an excuse as to why you cannot be who you want to be. There are ways to have both a family and goals, just be responsible about it. If you do not you may resent them when you are older.
Other things we tell ourselves is we are not talented enough to do XYZ…trust me, whenever you see someone at the top of their field, they started off poorly at what they did. If you want to be a writer, for example, write, do not let someone tell you you are not good enough. The most important thing to do when figuring out how to start your life over at 40 or older, is just take action.
What if You Are Right?
There are a million mental obstacles as to why you cannot start your life over at 40. You will ask yourself, what if I fail? What if I am too old…etc. Have you considered the other option? What if you are right? How will your life look in 5-years if you achieve even partial success? Say you wanted to change careers and you accomplished what you set out to, think of how the rest of your life will improve.
Many of us are so negative in our thoughts, we think we can never be what we want to be. I am here to tell you if you want to start over at 40, list everything you desire to accomplish, you will hit most targets. If you say I want to change my career, get a new relationship, and get healthy, keep aiming. When you work on those things every day you will have success eventually. It may look different than you first imagined it would. Stay true to yourself and you will be happier in the long run.
Conclusion: How to Start over at 40
You are not too old at 40 to start over. You are not too old at 50, 60, but your options get a bit more limited as you get older, but that is about it. You need to define your purpose and then devote yourself toward working to this purpose. If you do not know who you are and who you want to be, how can you start over? Your life is not over now… figure out what you want, figure out the steps to get there and do not stop moving until you get the results you desire.