We are all one big work family! We should all hang out as a team! These statements drive me crazy. This fake corporate mindset is prevalent in many companies today. The idea that we should be spending time with and developing personal relationships with our coworkers can be harmful. I will lay out the case on how too much socializing in the workplace can affect you negatively.
Why is it that too much socializing in the workplace can hurt you? There are many drawbacks from both a professional and personal standpoint if we socialize too much with coworkers. We risk upward professional movement by letting our guard down and take away from our personal lives by wasting time with people we work with.
It sounds counter intuitive to say that socializing in the workplace can hurt our careers in the long run. Anytime you present aspects of your personal life you allow the vultures and backstabbing coworkers to gain ammunition that can later be used against you.
It is important to distinguish between company sanctioned events with coworkers (Christmas parties, team building, etc..) and just general fraternizing in the workplace (casual conversations, random happy hours). Although there are different consequences for both, I personally think each should be limited. Below is how too much socializing in the workplace can hurt you.
General Socializing in the Workplace
I understand, the days in the office can be miserable. It is tempting to joke around with your work “friends” or talk for hours about Game of Thrones. Personally, I have seen too many situations where casual conversation in the office as bit someone in the rear.
Today more than ever we need to limit what we say in the office. I have been guilty of this, if the environment now were like this years ago, I probably would have lost my job a while back. Treating coworkers like friends in general is a bad idea. The below are the reasons why I believe we need to keep them at arm’s length.
Coworkers are not Friends
Please repeat after me…your coworkers are not your friends. If you get nothing else out of this post, I hope you remember this. No matter how much you joke with them, no matter how many hours a day you spend with them most will disappear after you are done working at the company. There maybe are a handful you see from time to time, but any close relationship you thought you had will have ended. If you are socializing with coworkers to make friends, you are wasting your time.
I have worked in the corporate environment for almost twenty years. I have may be one or two people that I would still consider a friend from the thousands I have met. Even those I may speak to once a month. Once you leave a company, you are forgotten. If you are laid off or worse fired, see how many happy hours you are invited to. These are fake friends out of convenience. Most likely these are not people you would voluntarily hang out with unless you are forced into the situation anyway.
You risk Making Enemies
Not only are coworkers not friends, but they can turn into adversaries. Say the wrong thing or not agree with left wing public opinion and you could find yourself being a target. Too much socializing in the workplace can allow a personal unpopular opinion to be revealed. This in turn can make people come after you professionally.
Why risk making yourself a target in this heavily PC environment? Especially in drinking situations. Have one too many cocktails and say the wrong thing, good luck explaining to your next potential employer why you are looking for a job. It is better to keep your head down and not say too much. You can drink and socialize with people you trust.
Wasting Time with Inferior People
They say you are a combination of your five closest friends. Most likely most people in the corporate environment are going to be your average Joes who have an obsession with football and television. They know nothing about politics or economics except what Facebook teaches them. These people are sheep. Do you want to be a part of the mindless herd? Excessively socialize with coworkers, you will soon have all their characteristics.
How about finding better friends? Better yet hang out with loved ones who enrich your life and not some phony pal who will rattle on about the Panthers third string quarterback.
Another option use your free time to start a side project so you can escape the hell of corporate life. Time is more valuable than money; you can waste it away with Jim from accounting or use it to try to move forward in your life. Too much socializing in the workplace can take away from living your life more richly.
It may Hurt Work Performance
Sitting around the office talking about BS can distract you from your actual job. Not that climbing the corporate ladder should be anyone’s goal, but if it is yours, then you may want to dial back any socializing at work. If you go too far, the joking around will be noticed. Some may act as if you do not take your job duties seriously. Your entire group can be typecast as slackers and moving around (or up) may be difficult. I know this from personal experience.
Company Sponsored Socializing
There is nothing worse than being forced into socialization by your boss. Usually these events are “recommended” using the term loosely. It is bad enough that you must spend 8-9 hours a day with these people, now you are compelled to go to events on your off time. Even something as simple as wasting my lunch break irks me to no end. Below is why planned socializing in the workplace will drain you mentally.
You End Up Talking About Work
Let us face it, when you are being forced to hang out with your boss and coworkers you will be speaking about work. That is not time off it is just a sneaky way for them to increase your workday. Lunch is for decompressing and research, not hanging out with colleagues and discussing spreadsheets.
It is better to spend one’s time after work thinking about anything but your job. This is especially true about events in the office, half the time you are still just working, only you have some stale supermarket cake in front of you. Really, what else are you going to talk to these drones about anyway?
You Must Be on Your Best Behavior
I cannot tell you how many reminders you will get when you either go to a work event or have one in the office that involves alcohol. Long drawn out emails about appropriate behavior are the norm. That is not time off for me, I want to be able to say and do what I please without feeling as if I am being monitored.
To avoid problems one usually, as mentioned, talks primarily about work. Or you discuss useless mind-numbing topics with sheeple who you cannot stand. I do not see any benefit from this kind of socializing with people. Even going to a casual team lunch takes away from my sanity.
Set Boundaries
I think it is important to start on the right foot with a company. Saying no often and early will help you set a needed precedent. I personally avoid going to work lunches or parties, whether it is company sponsored or not, because it is my time. Unless there is a cash prize to be won at a party, I am not attending. My time is too precious and short to just give to my employer and coworkers.
Conclusion: How too much socializing in the Workplace Can Hurt You
Whether it is in the office or at some sanctioned (or unsanctioned) offsite location there are few upsides to socializing in the workplace. In too many instances it takes away from the things that are important in life. Time is more valuable than money, spend it on what you value. You are not the property of the office, when the workday is done split from the people in your job. Do your work, be friendly, but leave the work colleagues behind when the day ends. Hang out with people that expand your life, not corporate drones that suck the energy from you.