Red Flags for Women: When to Run

I used to think the term red flags was one only women use. I have heard many stories where a woman gave ridiculous criteria for breaking up with a potential mate. It is of no consequence to them, considering we are usually the ones paying for dates. From having a messy apartment, to not being married by 33 to name a few, women exclude men for dumb reasons. Yet, now it is our turn. As a forty-four -year-old I have come to see many red flags for women.

If you want to save yourself a huge number of headaches and problems down the road pay close attention to the below. Many men ignore red flags in women because they are weak and lack options. Standards come second to the hope of getting a girlfriend. Therefore, they jump onto any woman who gives them any attention, ignoring the train wreck that will soon follow.

How many marriages and long-term horror stories do men need to witness or live through before they start paying attention to these dating red flags? Imagine the money, time, effort, and emotional pain that could have been saved if you just kept your wits about you on the first date.

Next time you go on to Match.com or plenty of fish pay attention to the below. Here are ten red flags for women you need to look out for. The goal of this is to eliminate them on (or before) the first date. Other problems and behaviors might take weeks, months, or even years to show its face and deserves a separate article.

This list is not 100% inclusive, I am sure I will do a follow up in the future. I compiled this advice to help you exclude these women from a long-term relationship. Remember if you are just having “fun” please be careful as well. You do not want these women to be in your life for the next 18-20 years! Without further ado, here are my 10 major red flags in women!

She Gets Wasted Before the Appetizers

If you never had the pleasure of dating an alcoholic, you are in for a treat. I not only grew up with a mother who drank too much, but I also dated someone for more than a year who drank to excess. If I am being honest there have been many long-term relationships where the person was at least a mild alcoholic, if not raging.

A true alcoholic will make your life hell. Never knowing what will happen always keeps your stress levels at 100%. The money and aggravation are not worth it no matter how attractive she may be. These girls are not fun, they are dangerous, they can cost you your life savings, freedom, or even life. Keep an eye out for how much they drink on the first date… if a woman is drunk the first-time you guys meet you can expect a life of alcoholism. By the way, this goes double for any drug use… do not get involved with these women.

Will Not Shut Up about Babies

Who wants to be a dad? You do if you sleep with a woman that is baby happy. It may seem inconceivable, but there are women out there, especially in their mid-thirties, that will get knocked up by anyone. If you listen carefully you can hear the signs of a person that is thirsting to have a kid.

Especially if you are successful, you are a target. Lying that they are on the pill is only the first of many deceptive practices these women will engage in to trap you. I have even heard of ladies that “empty” out a condom and get pregnant to snag a “good” man. Of course, all of this is totally legal. In terms of red flags for women, this is one of the scarier ones. Ten minutes of pleasure (and I am being generous) can lead to the next twenty years of payments. The juice is not worth the squeeze, run from anyone who you even suspect would try to have a kid with you if this is not something you want.

She Has All Guy Friends

Any woman that has only guy friends is someone you should avoid dating. First ask, why does she not have any female friends? That seems a bit strange, right off the bat. She is probably too catty even for other women. Secondly, these guys will not be on your side. They maybe white knights who interfere in your relationship.

Third, and most important you need to try this out for size. Ask her to show you a picture of all her guy friends. Now, picture their d*cks in her mouth because that is likely what happened. There is no way she did not get drunk and hook up with at least two of them. It will be their own little secret, now you are waiting for the fifth date while you shake the hand of the guy that can give you a map of where the moles are on her body. Better yet, picture your wedding, and how these men will laugh as she walks down in a white dress. Avoid dating these women, move on to someone who is not buddies with your competition.

She Is Friends with Her Ex-Partners.

Related to, but worse than the last point, is she is still friends with her ex-boyfriend (or boyfriends). I had a girl that I really liked tell me her best friend was someone she dated for years. To make matters worse she was still hanging out with her last boyfriend, who she lived with months prior.

Of course, my simp mindset at the time tried to be the bigger person, “do not be jealous” I said to myself. Ten points for anyone who can guess what happened next. Sure enough, she would talk about me to her first ex, who was working against me. Turns out he worked against the other guy as well. After she broke up with me, a month later she was married and pregnant by Ex number 2. What I said for the previous red flag, goes double for this one…do not deal with a woman who cannot walk away from Ex boyfriends/husbands. If there are kids involved that may be different…on the other hand.

She Has Kids

I know, I am the arse hole, but trust me there are a number of reasons why this is one of those red flags for women not to be ignored. There will be a whole other post regarding this in the future, but just the highlights now. This advice goes double if the kids are from multiple fathers. Certainly, I will make some exceptions for these rules such as a widower, but even then, your life will be more difficult than it has to be.

If she was never married and has a kid or two this says a lot about her responsibility level and self-respect. She clearly chooses bad partners because none of them would marry her after knocking her up. Women with kids create a slew of issues for the new man, it is all of the responsibility and none of the fun. Save yourself some problems down the road, say no to a second date with a single mother.

She Uses SJW Words

If the words “White Male Privilege” or “toxic masculinity” come out of this jackass’s mouth, run. I mean ask for the check as soon as she utters that garbage. The social justice warriors are not only hell to be around, but they also cannot run their own lives.

All their problems are from the “patriarchy”, from their 100K in student loan debt to their job at Starbucks, of course the problems they face are not due to their own choices. That is not long-term dating material. Dating a woman like that will cause too many headaches, your days and nights will be and endless barrage of the hatred that spews from her mouth.

Men, especially white men (but really all straight men) are the enemy in her eyes. Unless you walk around with your shoulders slumped over while attached to her rope, she will make your life miserable. Imagine getting into a fight, being bitched at for 5-hours, then when you bring up a counter point you are mansplaining. Nope! Next please.

Her Physical Appearance is not Up to Par

This may seem like one of those red flags in women that is unfair. It is on the inside that counts right? Not if the inside always contains two pounds of potato chips and a liter of Mountain Dew. If you are dating someone in their twenties and she is twenty pounds overweight, add another twenty to that and how does she look? I am sorry most women will fall apart somewhat after they are in a long-term relationship or worse yet, get married.

If the person you are on a date with does not eat healthy and go to the gym now, it will only get worse. It may seem like I am being an A-hole, especially to you fat women out there, but the truth is the truth. Really, everyone should stay in shape, not just women. Ladies if you are dating a fat dude expect him to get fatter through the years. If that is the type of thing you are into and you like butter cream coming out of someone’s pours, enjoy…if not move on.

She Blows Through Your Money

Some would say she should not even get the chance, but I am still a little more traditional, especially if I am asking the girl out. Plus, I feel like paying for the first date gives you a bit of a crystal ball into this girl’s personality.

First, if she is ordering $20 drinks, steak, and lobster, she has no interest in you. She is not trying to present her best self; more likely she is using you for free food. Would you not even consider the person who was paying if you were trying to impress them? She does not care for one of two reasons, 1. She may not give a damn about you, you are just a free meal. 2. Maybe there is some interest, but she is an entitled b*tch who thinks she is a princess. Both are deal breakers.

Someone who blows through money like this also is giving you a glimpse into their spending habits. If she tells you she is a first-year teacher while she is shoving caviar into her mouth you can bet her credit card bill is longer than the Nile. If you are trying to lock in a partner for life, that is not what you need.

She Sleeps with You on the First Date

What a catch-22 this is. The very thing many of us are aiming for, is the thing that should keep you from developing any feelings for this person. She may really like you, but trust me, she really liked a lot of guys. This woman has no morality. Do not give me this “well men are guilty of this as well.” Sorry there is a double standard mainly because it is much easier for women to sleep with random guys. I have three neighbors that I never even spoke to that could knock on my door and I would be in. Even a chunky one does not have to work too hard to get laid.

I have been with two different women that said they stopped counting at 50 guys. Stopped counting men they slept with at 50, think about that. Is this what you want from your wife or long-term girlfriend? If a woman is 35 and in the last 10 years went on 3 “good dates” a month that is over 100 guys, not counting college. Yeah, she may have had some longer relationships here and there, so the number is only 80! Your mom will be proud. If she makes you work for it (especially if she is religious) it is better than getting it right away for any quality partner.

She Tells You Outrageous Stories about Her Ex Boyfriends/Husband

So many times, I could have avoided trouble if I would just not have tried to be the white knight. If she tells you about some crazy arse situation keep your guard up. I remember I dated a chick who told me not one, but two of her ex boyfriends (long-term) went out for cigarettes and she never heard from them again…not one but TWO. In reality, this chick was so crazy after a month I almost took up smoking just to have an easy escape plan.

Get someone talking and they will start telling you interesting stories. Keep your ears open for a theme. If this woman is a victim over and over, start putting things together. Do not be the next “bad guy”, there is a reason why certain things keep happening to people. If you continue to date this person all you will be is a horrible story for the next guy. No need for that kind of drama in your life.

Bonus Tip Red Flags for Women: Her Phone is Blowing Up

I had ten but this is one of those red flags in women worth mentioning. If a woman’s phone is blowing up on a Friday night, take this as a dating red flag. Many times, it is the slew of Chads she has in her back pocket that she will be meeting up with after your date. I am not talking about an occasional text; I am talking a constant non stop phone buzzing.

First, any close girlfriend or family member will be held off because they will know she is on a date. A quick, let me just tell my sister that I am busy, will stop the messages. If they keep going, that is not her sister, that is the guy she is seeing after you spent your money on her. Maybe I am generalizing, but these days we need to protect ourselves.

Here is a good trick, get up to go to the bathroom. Watch her, if she grabs her phone and starts texting in secret, it is a dating red flag. Who is so important that she needs to write them right away? Today, the way women are, it is better to be paranoid than burned.

Conclusion: Red Flags in Women

To any women readers who stumble upon this … sorry (not really), but you women did this to yourselves. You created an atmosphere where good men are being burned, hurt, and rejected. I know the prevalent theory in this society is still men = pigs, but we are not normally the ones engaging in shady tactics.

To the men out there reading this…HAVE STANDARDS! So many of you let terrible behavior slide because you are on a date with an attractive woman. Guess what, there are beautiful women all over the world, go get another. Good sex and beauty fade…a woman can cause you problems well after the fun is gone. For me Long-term dating may never be in the cards, I have been burned too badly. You still maybe have faith, so at least protect yourself.