I ran into an interesting article the other day. There was a study published and mentioned in various places, but let me link to this article, why are so many young men single? To sum it up the story says that 63% of young (20-30 years old) men vs 34% of women are single. First, the obvious glaring issue with this and all the similar stories. Who the !@#!# are these women dating? They are not all going for older men, if that were the case there would be less men in their 40’s single. It isn’t until you get to the over 65 category that significantly more women than men claim to be single. Probably because we are all dead at this point.
The story goes on to blame porn and social media to account for why men aren’t pairing up. Sure, but that only explains the men that are not looking. Yes, that is part of it and it doesn’t bode well for the future of dating. So why are so many young men single? I think so many young men are single, because they either gave up playing the rigged game of dating or are being shoved out by the top men getting multiple partners. It is basically both choosing to be single and having singlehood thrust upon them.
Why So Many Men Choose to Be Single: They Step Out of the Game
The first reason why so many men are single is that too many women these days are just not worth the effort anymore. They want perfection from us while they put no care into themselves. Today’s women are heavier and less attractive. Today’s men are as well, so that is not a shot only on women. Those of us that do try see fewer good options.
There are slim pickings for normal guys, while women get attention from 1000 men at a time, no matter how low quality they are. Dating sites make it worse. How many conversations do I have to be ghosted on or dates that stand me up until I step out of the game. There seems to be plenty of other men to take our place. Do not believe me? Look at any attractive girls Instagram feed, you have a plethora of thirsty guys giving them attention. Normal men are just checking out.
Life has too much to offer for us to waste our resources on women. Yes, there are good ones out there. Those are unicorns, I do not care enough to be chasing ladies all over town, just to be ghosted. Women think they are the prize, if that is the case, I don’t want to play the game.
Men Have Little to Offer
So many young men are single because they have nothing to offer women. Besides giving them free attention on Social Media sites, they don’t bring anything to the table. Women have fallen off, but so have their suiters. We men do not have that same luxury of letting ourselves go. Men make less money, are less educated (not necessarily a bad thing), are in worse shape then in the past.
Women want higher value men yet so many of us would rather play video games than take care of ourselves. Being overweight or living with their mom used to be something that men were ashamed of. Now all men act like victims in the United States . Maybe it is too much porn and video games like the article states. The drive seems gone. We used to chase excellence, now too many men chase Doritos to the couch. If you want a quality woman worth dating, be a quality man. Stop complaining and get your sh*t together.
Women’s Ridiculous Standards
Now that I acknowledged the above, at times I see why men do not even try. Women have crazy standards. It feels like even when in a relationship they are always looking for better. Must be over 6’2, making 200K/year and willing to watch my three children when I go out with the girls. So many good men are disqualified because the fives and sixes are chasing the men at the top.
Dating apps just magnifies the problem. Women that I wouldn’t look twice at in the real world now feel empowered to be extra choosy, because of all the attention they get. Given that the ratio is 3 to 1 on these sites it puts us guys at a disadvantage. Since this is primarily the way people meet, we men are left holding the bag. It doesn’t help that the world tells even the most “well rounded” woman that she deserves it all. Ladies want only the cream of the crop, normal or even high-quality men don’t stand a chance. Combined that with how much men have fallen off it is a surprise anyone is dating. Yet 65% of women say they are in a relationship? These numbers do not add up.
Who Are the Women Dating
Once again, I am brought to the question, who are these women dating? If only 35% of young men are in a relationship (or dating) but 65% of females there isn’t a lot of things it could be. Yes, some might be going older, but they must be dating 60-year-olds, that can’t explain it.
Let me look into some of the possibilities and show you what I believe the only real conclusion is. It may be a combination of things, but there is only one true explanation.
Themselves?
Maybe women are dating themselves. That would account for some of the difference. According to this article about 7% of women say they are gay. OK, that takes some off the market. At the same time only 4.9% of men say they are gay. If these men avoid relationships at the same rate as straight men, this could account for some of the discrepancy. Still the swing is like 30%, between men who are dating and women who are. This is just a drop in the bucket.
Sometimes They do Older
I touched on this already, I do not think that this is the main answer. If it was you would see a lot more 40-year-old women single than men. But even in this category there are more single men than women. It isn’t until we get to over 50 that the numbers start to even out.
I guess part of the explanation why many young men are single could be explained by men dating ten years younger. It is not like a 25-year-old can do that unless he wants to meet Chris Hansen on to catch a predator. Yes, older men might be more of a catch given we are more financially stable and have our shite together. Still the numbers do not add up.
Only plausible Theory: Women are Sharing Men
To me there is only one way to explain why so many young men are single and so many young women are not. The women are sharing the top 5% to 10% of men. They may not know they are sharing these men or are simply lying to themselves that they will leave their wives or girlfriends, but a lot of men are double dipping. If the top 75% of women only go out with the top 10% of men (in terms of attractiveness) that leaves a lot of men out of the loop.
These women might think they are in a committed relationship, when, they are dating a guy with a family of five or are with someone who is just stringing them along. What is the saying? Women would rather share a successful man than be attached to a faithful loser. Well to them a loser is someone not making 200K and isn’t 6.2ft tall. This is all playing out in the dating market. We have a perfect storm of the majority of younger men not giving a damn about dating and women who only date the top. This does not bode well for our future.
The increase of women in the workforce has made this worse. Now she wants someone on her level or higher. Well, if she makes 120K a year as a HR director, then only Chad Thunderpants who is making 200K will do. Unfortunately for everyone, those jobs are rare for men.
Terrible For Men on a Whole
This is all just a bigger problem for males in general. The majority are going to be lonely, sexless, and unfulfilled. Society really does not care about us anyway. Yet what society can succeed with the majority of young men living in their parent’s basement without a partner? We are getting lonelier and more isolated; the problem is only getting worse.
So many men are not even trying to date. Most of those that do try are not desirable, because they are taught not to be winners. “Love yourself how you are” is forced into their head since grade school. Meanwhile women will be unhappy because they will always be trying to trade up. There is a reason why there are fewer marriages and an increase in divorces. Something has to give or all of society will be single.
Conclusion: Why are So many Young Men Single
Men are trying less, while women’s standards are increasing. We are all f*cking up. The best thing you as an individual can do is to self-improve. Be the best version of yourself and become desirable to others. The game sucks these days, but I am not at a place to say we should stop playing. Video games and Cheetos can’t replace a good sex life. Just my two cents.