Why can’t we achieve our goals? This is a question I have been asking lately. Sometimes I wonder why my life didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to. I have some achievements; and I am certainly better off than most. Still, I am hitting a few setbacks as of late, mainly on my career path, but that is not all. In truth I am faced with multiple roadblocks and setbacks to things I attempted to accomplish, but that is life. I have been here before and thrived, I will again. As the world implodes and with so much work put in why haven’t I hit so many of the things I aimed for?
Maybe I aimed for too many things, not allowing me to gain traction on any of them. You can’t chase two rabbits. Distractions, both from people and society, are also a big factor. One not having their dream house, job, or relationship can be frustrating if you put in the effort. It can even feel like things will always be out of reach.
Why can’t we achieve our goals? What is happening that I start something only to get thrown off track. I think we can both blame ourselves and the outside world. I truly believe this world is designed to keep you down. Distractions are everywhere; it is a wonder anyone can get anything done at all. You have no control over the distractions in your life, letting yourself get distracted is another story. Our lives are our own. Allowing outside forces to dictate your life is why you can’t achieve anything. I will point out four things that will answer the question “why can’t we achieve our goals”.
The Daily Grind
Just trying to keep our heads above water seems like a daunting task. First there is the daily slog to your job. A job where they give you just enough to survive, but not enough to thrive. Yes, people overspend (and that is their mistake), but this world is pricey, and companies do not help. I laugh when they want you to be happy about a 2% raise, and inflation increases by 6%. Your employer doesn’t care about you, your goals or life.
Just getting to work is a chore and yet they want everyone back in the office. The job itself usually bogs you down with useless work, to the point that you don’t feel you’ve really accomplished anything when you left.
Then there is everything else to keep the status quo. Something as simple as getting a haircut appointment these days takes an act of congress. Oil changes, doctors’ appointments, visits with family, and God forbid you have kids or an elderly parent, all drain you. Life is exhausting. The thing is, it is getting more exhausting. Technology was supposed to make our lives easier, yet all it does is add layers of bureaucracy.
Personally, I think this is done by design. If you are so distracted or nickeled and dimed by everyday life, you have no resources to build your own dreams. You are too tired to put the time where it is needed and too broke to invest in what needs to be invested in. The urgent items always take precedence over the dreams of our future. So why can’t we achieve are dreams? Because we are too busy fighting endless fires in our own life.
The Goals seem impossible
This is especially true if you have had a lot of past failures or setbacks. Some of my goals seem almost ridiculous. Maybe they are. That shouldn’t stop me from attempting them. Looking at something as unachievable, means you will not even try for it. That is the easiest way to never achieve it. We don’t stick to our goals since they seem out of reach, even when obtainable.
Getting into really good shape might seem impossible to someone who has been out of shape all their lives. The same goes for someone who has been broke, wanting to have a beautiful home and fat bank account. When something seems so far away that you can’t achieve it, you may not even start.
It doesn’t help that many people do not support others’ dreams or goals. Naysayers will blatantly tell you that you can’t do something or that it is impossible. How many people say, “be happy with what you got.” It is because these people can’t wrap their mind around an improved you. Others will mock your ambition; too many do not want to see you become a better version of yourself. If you already have doubts, those nearest to you reinforcing those doubts is another reason why we can’t achieve our goals.
We Numb ourselves with Distractions
This world sucks. It is stressful, tedious and overly busy. There are two ways out. The long way or the easy way. The easy way is tempting. It takes no effort to numb yourself with video games, food, alcohol, Television, drugs or even porn. They all feel good in the moment. They also almost always take us further from where we want to be.
The long way sucks. It is more effort, especially at first. There are usually no immediate results, just time and energy, both of which are probably already in short supply. Plus, there is no guarantee that all my effort will pay off. I could be doing all of this for nothing. For example, it would be nice if this blog got to 50K/month (at least). I can write, edit and work on it until the cows come home and still see nothing. It is just so much more tempting to open a bottle of wine and binge watch the Golden Girls (f*cking love them chicks).
Of course, we never will hit our goals if we use our time to do harmful things. I won’t just wake up at 10% body fat, I have to diet and exercise. It sucks, but every day I choose to waste on YouTube is a day further from where I really want to be. Despite how bad this world is made to distract us and put roadblocks up, we are our own worst enemies. Put in time to get the results you want.
We Don’t Put Ourselves First
Effort and consistency are what is needed to succeed. Another reason why we can’t achieve our goals is that we let other people derail us with their own priorities. It is important to be consistent for a long time in any endeavor if we want to see results. Yet, how many times do other people’s needs come first.
Even something as simple as being pressured to go out with friends can derail your evening. Spouses, parents, and kids all steal your time. The wrong partner will suck the life out of you and make you feel as if you’re hurting the family by trying to achieve something. I heard of wives not wanting their husbands to go to the gym, probably out of jealousy, but making them feel like it is taking time from their home. There were no cares given when they were in front of the television for three hours a night. I am sure men do this also; I just know of specific examples where women have.
If you let other people derail you, no matter who it is, you will never succeed. How can you have consistency when you are not only putting out your own fires, but other peoples as well. You need to set time for yourself, and unless the house is burning down (or gym, or whatever) you need to use this to work on your goals. It does not make you selfish to want to live your best life. Most of the time those that are in your way have no faith in you or worse they wish you to fail.
Some Solutions I am Playing Around With
These are some of the ideas to help me achieve what I want out of life. Just reading the above list I think I will incorporate the following:
- Minimize the grind: I know that sounds easier said than done, but it is possible. The more stuff I have the more that breaks and the more whirlwinds are created. Practice minimalism, which is something that I am attempting. Not just minimal items, but events, clubs, and even friends… my time and my energy need to be saved for my goals.
- Learn to love the Process: If I love working out, then the fear of my fitness journey being out of reach is diminished. We can only do something we hate for so long. I need to live the mindset that no matter how few people read what I write, I write because I enjoy it.
- Schedule distractions: I am not saying give up all video games or stop snorting heroin off of a hooker butt, just schedule it. Say “The only time I will watch TV is at this time after I did XY&Z”. If you know you can eat bad occasionally and not take time away from what is important you will be more likely to delay gratification.
- Set Short-Term, Non-Negotiable Goals: Break down what you are trying to accomplish in a few key things every week or day. Look at the entire mountain might be too much, focus on how many steps you want to take that day.
- Finally, Have Non-Negotiable scheduled times: People will try to steal your time and energy. Do not let them. Once you have defined what you want set up an exact time you will work on it. Nothing or no one gets to take this time.
Conclusion: Why can’t we achieve our goals
These are my two cents on why we can’t achieve our goals. Am I right or wrong, who knows. All I know is the unimportant, but urgent crap that fills my life makes me what to scream. I can’t accomplish want I want to because of so many distractions. Time is running out to be what I want to be. I need to figure this out quickly and start putting first things first.